How Can You Do Things To Yourself That You Can’t Do To Anyone Else? / İpek Durkal

16.07.2024

After waking up in the morning, I wash my face, brush my teeth, make coffee, pick up my phone, check my emails and messages, and then go on social media in just five minutes! I either catch up on work emails or stay updated on events that happened overnight while asleep.

I think most of us live like that.

When we wake up to a new day, wouldn’t it be good for all of us to pause for at least 15 minutes and enter a meditative state of mind instead of worrying about what has happened or what will happen?

“If you are interested in calming yourself down in a safe way, this is the book for you,” says psychologist Karol Darsa. With these thoughts in mind, I bought her book, The Trauma Map.

Say “Hello” to Your Trauma

As the title suggests, The Trauma Map is not a meditation book. It focuses on finding, recognizing, and understanding traumas, and to some extent, healing them. “You might be surprised how many people are affected by traumas but don’t realize it,” says Darsa, introducing the reader to their traumas.

The part of the book that resonated with me and provided a realization was the section describing the disconnection of people from themselves. This is exactly what I mentioned at the beginning of this article. We are enough for everyone and everything, but we often don’t make time for ourselves!

Darsa makes another crucial point about self-connection (and I believe this is the key point): “If you treated others the way you treat yourself, would they welcome it?” she asks. I think if we neglected the people we love as much as we neglected ourselves, none of them would ever see us again!

Another question is, “Would you let someone talk about you the way you talk to yourself?” The answer is, of course, “no” for most of us, because we often neglect the boundaries of politeness, compassion, and tolerance when we talk to ourselves. But in fact, we must not!

As you answer the questions in the book, you become aware of your behavior, much of which is unkind to yourself. And when you finish the book, you ask the question: How can you do things to yourself that you would never do to someone else?

Reporting from Resonance: Nothing New

Nowadays everyone is talking about the Law of Resonance (Das Gesetz der Resonanz). Although the book was written in 2008, its Turkish translation has just been published and has become very popular. The book, written by German actor, director, motivational coach, and author Pierre Franchk, explains that “you can attract everything you think, feel, and believe into your life,” providing examples from various scientific experiments and research.

I did some research, but I couldn’t find any such experiment or research to support these claims. Based on the motto of the book, “Think good, be good,” I’ll skip this topic, acknowledging that I may have searched in the wrong place.

For me, the book did not offer much beyond repeating what I already knew.

But if you ask what it did, it reminded me of some things that I knew but had forgotten to apply in my daily routine. For example, as Franchk says, “Our thoughts often expand our resonance field. Therefore, every thought about losses tends to attract more losses; similarly, every thought about gains tends to attract greater gains. That’s why the changes we want to see in the external world can only come about by changing our thoughts.”

If you haven’t read such a light personal development book before, I think you’ll enjoy Motivational Coach Franchk’s straightforward and clear slogan sentences. If you are interested in this field, you already know everything written in that book.

As Carl August Sanburg said: “Nothing happens unless first a dream.”

Have beautiful dreams, and may this be a month when your dreams come true…