Sometimes something happens and we immediately assign meaning to it. “They definitely belittled me,” “they don’t like me,” “this job isn’t for me…” Yet perhaps it was only a sentence spoken, a glance exchanged, an event that occurred. But instead of living what actually happened, we live the story we weave around it. And the strange thing is, we cling to that story so tightly that we believe it to be real.
I have lived this way for years. Something would happen and the scenarios in my head would begin at once. “They said that because they think this,” “they acted like that because I don’t matter to them…” Then one day I stopped. I asked myself: “am I really living what is, or the film I’ve written in my head?” The answer was painful but clear: the film.
That day, I began to question my mind. Every thought, every feeling, every reaction… “Is this really mine?” “Does this thought belong to me, or is it just a repetition of things I’ve heard for years?” It was a difficult process. Because turning inward to examine one’s own mind can be even more frightening than looking into a mirror.
But I realized something: the codes in my mind – my thought patterns – were running my life. And most of the time, these codes weren’t serving me. “I can’t do it,” “Nobody really understands me,” “life is hard…” These were all outdated programs. They needed an update.
Coding the mind simply means this: recognizing old patterns of thought, questioning them, and rewriting them. Like a computer. If there’s faulty software, the system won’t function smoothly. In the same way, when the mind runs on unhelpful codes, life keeps getting stuck.
These days, when something happens, I stop first. “What exactly happened?” what meaning am I giving to it?” “Does this meaning serve me?” if not, I let it go. Because I want to experience what is, not the story. My mind still creates stories, of course. But now I see them for what they are. And this awareness has started to change my life.
Judgements, communication breakdowns – all of these come not from reality itself but from stories written with unhelpful feelings, without questioning what really is. Maybe you’re caught in a story right now. Maybe you’re misreading what is. But that’s not something to fear – it’s part of being human. The important thing is to notice. Because the moment you notice, you can leave the story behind and return to the truth.
Unfortunately, if you choose to experience life by taking the easy way – without questioning your beliefs, the dualistic molds imposed by society, rights and wrings, meaningless generalizations, or hollow equivalences (such as money = respect, success) – then you have no choice but to live within stories.
To see what is as it is requires building a mind capable of observing from the outside without attaching interpretations. That is only possible by questioning everything and making effective use of the tools given to you and inherent to being human – reason, mind and intelligence.
Only then may life present itself to you as simple, clear and real as it has never seemed before.
Author : Ufuk Kara