How’s Life With You? / İpek Durkal

Mandatory isolation at home has taught different things to all of us. I’m sure most of you have discovered that you have other talents than making sourdough bread or perhaps you have discovered yourself. I am among those who got to know themselves through books these days. I had never been on my own for this long. I did not know that I had such particular traits, habits, and thoughts…

 Find Yourself In 616 Questions

“The Question Book” (Fragebuch) proved to be a nice and enjoyable exercise in self-discovery for me. I had bought it years ago but couldn’t make time to answer the questions inside. The questions meticulously framed by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschapeler guide you towards finding the kind of person that you are. Questions come from them and you write down the answers in the book.

“Can you cope with the feeling of not being loved by someone?”, “Are you usually the talker or the listener in conversations with friends?”, “What have you compromised for your relationship and what do you miss most?”, “Which friend knows you best?”, “Which friend do you know best?”, “Which couples you know are intolerable to you?” are among the 616 questions you give answers to. Meanwhile, you get to see the person that you are, not the person that you think you are. The questions look very easy and you’re expected to answer them quickly. However, the answers are not that simple. For instance, I couldn’t manage to respond to: “What is it that I really need to learn?” If I’d known what it was, I would have learned it by now anyway…

 Are You Ready To Face Your Parents?

Unless we heal the wounds of especially childhood traumas, they turn into painful inflammations over the years. They may not kill you, but they certainly torment you.

“We are crushed under the weight of everything we cover up,” says Psychoanalyst – Author Alice Miller in “The Body Never Lies” (Die Revolte des Körpers). In the book she talks about how the emotions we trap inside ourselves negatively impact our bodies and unless we open up and face the chest in which we stuffed our childhood memories, they will impact us throughout our lives.

The examples Miller gives in the book from the childhoods of famous thinkers and writers such as Dostoevsky, Chekhov, Kafka, Nietzsche, and Woolf point out to various diseases they suffered from due to parental terror. She also touches upon our red lines, the rules of morality we have internalized since forever.

Should we respect and remain loyal to our parents even when they hurt us? Why do we mentally reconstruct our childhood memories to justify our maltreating parents and deny the pains we suffered from as children?

It’s quite a tough read. Venture into it when you’re ready.

The Charms Of The Modern Age

If you find yourself saying “Life is already very difficult, I want something to distract me these days, something that will plant seeds of hope in me.” then I’ll suggest “Her Şey Değişir” (Everything Changes) to you. As the name suggests, Annette Inselberg’s book “Everything Changes” is a guide of rituals to perform when you want to change everything that doesn’t work in your life.

If you’re interested in reiki, meditation, Shamanism, spiritual journey, breathing exercises, yoga, and positive thinking, then it might not teach you a lot but it’s still a well-rounded book. It covers many topics including how to attract abundance to one’s life, open chakras, apply methods to purify yourself and your home of negative vibes, and find the child within. The book also includes rituals for special days such as Hıdırellez, full moon and new moon. It can be considered a “ritual guide for good-willed people in modern times.”

With “Everything Changes” we send our good wishes to the universe, perhaps a little shyly but trusting the wisdom of the one who might not fulfill them.